First Week Weigh In......Drum Role Please.......

Well I had planned to build this up and create a wee story about how nervous I was pulling up in front of the chemist but I can't............I LOST 15 POUNDS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

A wee secret voice inside my head was whispering to me how good it would feel to loose a stone, and I did better than that!!!!

And just like the Oscars I have to thank everyone involved, from my perfect family to Rob for being my Lipotrim buddy and Steve D inspiring me to give this a bash, Deano for taking the piss and work colleagues for their support.............*sob*

Right, enough of that shite :)

What a spring in my step I had after that, bounced from meeting to meeting, feet hardly touching the ground.

Jon D in work even commented while I was standing next to him having a pee that the weight was shifting.........sexual discrimination claim???

So where from here? Well week two obviously, but can I keep up a similar loss? All the data on forums seem to suggest not but I'm going to throw myself into exercise this week and see what happens. Weird how I find it easier to exercise on this diet than before, it's like it makes more sense in my head now as a simple equation that because my daily calorie intake is fixed any additional exercise means more weight off.

Rob's first weigh in tomorrow, so expect more jubilation in tomorrows blog!

The Day Before Tomorrow

Today has been a weird day. A mix of euphoria from reaching day seven keeping to this diet 100% against the feeling that it's only been a week and there is a long week to go. I guess you just can't please some people, typical dour Scotsman :)

At least his whole thing has stopped me thinking about getting an iPad, as much as i know it's really just an XL iPod touch it speaks to my geek gene. It's probably the only high profile gadget I've not bought early in 10 years, i even resisted the email from the apple store on Saturday to let me know they where back in stock. Well done me! Think of the money I saved........Saying that I always fancied a GPS motorised telescope, it's not my fault it's a genetic weakness! If only that was true I may have been given an iPad on prescription.

So the first weigh in is tomorrow, if my scales have been lying to me I'm going to melt them down in a vat of molten lead. Jonathan the Chemist has said the most anyone lost on this programme through his shop is 9lbs in the first week. I've seen much bigger losses on forums but I don't mind telling you if my loss isn't in double figures i will be distraught. First chink in the armour maybe but I've thrown everything into this, including an extra hour on the bike tonight (while simultaneously beating Rob at FIFA on the PS3, Polson is on a roll).

So time for bed now, and to dream of double figures.

The Return of the King

Today was a great day. A historic day that will go down in the journal of world events as one of the greatest injustices ever being put right.

After years in the wilderness of inadequacy the weary hero has returned to sit on his throne as Grand Supreme Champion.

Yes, today I finally beat Rob at badminton.

You may laugh but it was no mean feat! It felt like I was wearing a balaclava lined with hot water bottles.

Before the match I took on all the advice from the minimins.com forum, Jonathan the Chemist, the two Steve's and Kate all saying don't over do it in your first week. It all made sense to me and I left for the leisure centre in calm but confident spirits.

The first shuttlecock was hit into the air and it all went out the window.

It was like I was possessed by my fallen countrymen of Culloden and the shuttlecock said "Made in England" on the side. I ran about like a demented elephant on steroids and the only thing I heard above my raging heartbeat was the booming noise of my footsteps as I ran for every shot, reminiscent of the T-Rex scene from Jurassic Park!

My secret weapon? Unquestionably the Chicken Soup Shake I had for my tea. WOW, what a taste explosion after a week of Strawberry and Vanilla, and a huge up to Steve D who said I could add a wee bit of curry powder to it. It's only 8:20pm and I'm already looking forward to my tea tomorrow!

I'm just glad Rob didn't pick up his Chicken Soup before we played or he might still be sitting on his throne.

Hail to the King Baby!

Weekend over, I made it!

Well the weekend is over, I feel like there should be a ticker tape parade waiting for me when I get to work tomorrow. Are you sure a weekend is just 48 hours?

Not only did I survive the tension that always precedes an England Germany fixture (Deutschland, Deutschland über alles) for the first time ever without alcohol and nibbles, but I then watched my lovely weans scoff pepperoni pizza and chips two feet from me without pointing out the window to distract them while I pinched a chip.

Luckily I now have a new power to resist tasty food, I imagine it will taste like the Lipotrim Peanut Flapjack............Holy Shit! Four week old dried out moose dung............what a waste of a meal last night.

It's not all been a bed of roses though, as soon I woke my first thought was "how the f%ck am I going to get through today with just two shakes?"

I suppose the simple answer was you just do.

The main benefit to this diet is how extreme it is. You can't cheat. Full stop. Ever. Or you have just wasted the starvation you put yourself through. Yeah maybe in my darkest moments I secretly hope for palpitations or some other "not my fault" reason to get off this diet and tuck in to normal food but they never last long, and they are definitely happening less.

So bring on day six, I'm ready for you biatch!

Walkers Cheese and Onion Crisps

Well day four started with ease, up early to watch Wales get pumped by the all blacks at rugby and wasn't hungry until about 10am. A few games of footy with Rob who is also having a good morning and the day was cruising by. The shake even tasted nice this morning!

Head into work by lunchtime to set up up IT after an office reshuffle and still the day is flying by, I remember even thinking "so much for the weekend being hard" in a wee smug tone.

Then BAM!!!!!!!!!!!! Out of the corner of my eye I notice them, as if planted by the Serpent from the Garden of Eden, a packet of Walkers cheese and onion crisps on Dave's Desk.

"Eat me Jo!!! No one's looking, it will be our secret" the Serpent hissed......

Now I'm no huge lover of crisps, especially without a bevy, but as I blinked a could see me eating a crisp and savouring it's salty goodness, and there was no lightening........

Could I get away with it? The thought did cross my mind for a wee second but then I looked down, saw my fat belly and turned around to leave the room. As I turned Conor was just entering the room and I'm guessing by the look on this face as I looked like a dog at a butchers window. He quickly saw off the crisps, standing out of site behind a network cabinet as he scoffed................bless, he's good to his Dad :)

As if a psychic link had now been established between me and Rob, like woman and their TOTM, he had an equally disturbing afternoon with that same snake planting a scotch egg in plain sight........the b$&tard.

So, weekends are a bugger after all and a pick me up was required, my motivation tank needed a refill. My darling Faye dug out our scales and we decided to have a peep at how I'm doing.

Ladies and gentlemen I have lost 9lbs in 4 days!!!!!!!!!!! Yeah baby!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Tank now brimming and bring on Sunday!!

VVVRRROOOOOOOOOOMMMMMM!!!!!!!!!!

Where did all this energy come from?

I must have walked 5 miles in work today and as tired as my head feels from lack of sleep my legs don't want to stop! I'm just glad I've managed to stop and have a chat in the ticket office for a rest or they may have been scrapping me up of the concourse floor!

Not had the feeling in years where you are walking fast and your body wants to break to into a jog as if it would be easier to run (in theory anyway). I did well to resist the temptation!

Spoke to Rob and he is flying, unlike me he is weighing every day and has reported a loss of 4lbs in his first day! So with that in mind I'm accelerating my exercise plan and hitting the bike tonight after my shake, can't have him out doing me :)

I'm really amazed how the hunger has disappeared so quickly, don't get me wrong i still think about food, especially with Ann describing in painfully mouth watering details her plans for her Italian cooked tomato's and goats cheese..................mmmmm roasted tomato's.

Wonderful how food can make you feel emotional, like a long lost friend, and I've only just begun!

Never mind I'm in great spirits and have the support of a fantastic family and good friends, even if they are eating ludicrously tasty food this weekend :)

Wave good bye to Big Jo baby!

Day Two.......Sort of

Coffee before bed time........why on earth would I think that would be a good idea? The need to taste something other than water was just too great........idiot.

So here I am after 2 hours of lying awake in bed thinking about food and the other thing men crave while my lovely wife sleeps peacefully.

Ah well, time to blog i suppose :)

Bit shaky this afternoon and a definite barrage of strange and unusual sensations, I think this is now officially the longest I have gone without solid food since I was weaned of milk as a baby! Quite cool though, like my belly was playing "name that tune" with me. I could maybe take that on Britain's got Talent if I can learn to control it properly.

A few people today have asked me why I started on day zero, apart from sounding cool like the after effect of a nuclear war I thought it made sense as for most of the first day I was bound to still have the contents of my blow out meal working it's way out of my system. But it does sound more cool :)

So while I document this as day two, it sure as hell feels like day three!

I could have another two loonies, sorry companions on the Lipotrim diet starting tomorrow as the lovely Natalie and her pal are heading to see Jonathan the Chemist tomorrow, surely I should be on a commission by now?

Starting to feel a bit like one of the dreaded Amway salesmen, I did work for Kirby though so maybe I've rediscovered my calling, that or I'm starting a cult...........

Day One......What's all the fuss about?

I would recommend to anyone who is thinking of giving this a bash to start with a hangover. Compared to yesterday this morning was a piece of cake! (mmmm......cake)

I was amazed to find i didn't wake up pure Hank Marvin and still had the strength to get out of bed after consuming the calorie equivalent of a rivita sandwich the day before.

Another big up for Jonathan the Chemist as his tip on adding coffee to the vanilla shake worked wonders, I couldn't taste the readybrek!! And please everyone, use a blender, what a difference.

I can honestly say that if i asked for a nutty oaty frothy coffee from Costa's and was served this i would not have complained. Still bloody hard to finish the lot though, you feel stuffed after half the dose.

The hardest thing yesterday was thinking about food all the time, and as for TV, is that all they can advertise!! It's like they know!

Well Roberto has started this journey as well this morning and as i expected i received an early morning call just after his fruity oaty shake. Well done pal, and with all good spirits put aside.......Am gonnae beat you ya radge!!!!!

First Liquid Dinner......And Misery Loves Company!

Well as hungry as i was, that was hard work.

Again took me 10 mins to drink 450ml, badly need to use the blender and not the mixing cup. Queue a trip to Comet only to realise that we have one burried in the garage (ta Faye) so tomorrow morning should be a bit less traumatic!

Not been anywhere near as hungry throughout the day as i expected to be, not till about 4pm did the the rumbling begin.

The big news today is that Rob is joining me and picked up his shakes from Jonathan the Chemist today, well done pal, better late than never :)

So Rob has a starting weight of 16st 9lbs (skinny bugger, I'm 21st 7lbs) and is going to try and keep it going for 4 weeks, knowing our competitive nature I'm now more confident than ever of seeing the month out..........I'd never live it down if i didn't!

Think I need to order the chicken soup flavour shakes tomorrow, i can see straight away i'm going to get bored of vanilla and strawberry rather quickly.

Bring on breakfast!!!!

Day Zero

Well here I go.

28 days is the target I'm setting myself, 28 days of nothing but 2 shakes a day with a healthy dose of ribbing from Rob and Deano.

Had a fantastic blow out last night, as recommended by Jonathan the Chemist, and who am I to argue with a professional?

First shake went down in about 10 minutes this morning, the mixing cup is crap, will use the blender at tea time...........seems like so long away!!!!

Tastes like readybrek, complete with chewy bits, I've drunk worse! (flashbacks to a flaming lamborgini in South Africa......*shudder*)

This has been up on my screen this morning and it's lunchtime, cant work out if i'm hungry or not. Considering how much I drank last night I am surprised I dont have the junk food craving that normally follows a good bevy.

Half way through Day Zero!!!! only 27 and a half to go......piece of piss!!!